the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
