I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize