it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
