sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
