Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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