I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
