obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
