Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
