Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
