She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
