I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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