May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i've created a new STD.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
