I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
