gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
