Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize