whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
