I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I CAN MOONWALK!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
