I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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