Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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