How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
