I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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