If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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