It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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