Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
