I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
