Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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