You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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