Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize