So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
