that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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