Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
