i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
