More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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