Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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