I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
