it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Welp...herpes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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