I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The adults are the big ones right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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