smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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