Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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