why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
