JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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