Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
