It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
