I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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