You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
