brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize