11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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