who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
