So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
