i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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