When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
