Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He felt like a one man threesome
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
