Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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