I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
