I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Your cock deserves a montage
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
