Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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