Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize