this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize