I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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