the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
