you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
