GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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