i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
