I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Did I show you my penis last night?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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