the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
