How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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