I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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