This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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