She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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