I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
