Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
How's work?
Spinning.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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