sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
