i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
