Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
