actually, I'm a sock model
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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