he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So apparently I’m into choking now
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