Your dad touched me again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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